The Mantyhose Twinkletoes Brosiery Blues

The Mantyhose Twinkletoes Brosiery Blues

I got them mantyhose blues
From my head down to my shoes

Just saw it on the news
Wearing those things I just refuse

I used to go commando
Didn’t worry about my libido
But now the new credo
Is making men look sweet-oh

Spandex and tight binding
Could lead to chafing and grinding
Cut off blood supply — causing my boys to cry
Leading to premature blinding

With girls my full intent
Had been to make an ascent
Panty hose were an impediment
And led to discontent

And now the EuroTrash
Want men to buy that gash
Spent their hard-earned cash
On pants that give you a rash

It’s just too very gay
Too much like ballet
For this redneck cabaret
It’s not on my buffet

I got them <drumbeat>
Hung down <drumbeat>
Brung down <drumbeat>
Slung down <drumbeat>
Confined and realigned <drumbeat>
Disinclined and creepified <drumbeat>
Twinkletoes mantyhose brosiery blues

Jim’s Take: ┬áReal men in the Frozen North wear union suits.

Union Suit

"Take those old records off the shelf"

c. 2012 Jim Zee all rights reserved

4 Responses to The Mantyhose Twinkletoes Brosiery Blues

  1. Is that Jim Zee in his Union Suit?

  2. OMWORD JZ! This is scary scary stuff!

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